The school may not be optional but you can’t afford it. I understand that I do not know the other info as to why you have to go to the private school but that line just jumped out at me. There’s always an option. We all have choices. Could be something personal that I am missing but that’s my thoughts.
As far as taking out of the 401k savings I would NOT recommend it. I would recommend that you halt any and all contributions which should free up some money.
I know that you “think” that you have shaved as much as you can but you would be surprised at the ingenuity that can be found in this group. I posted my info and received TONS of solutions. Most I had thought of but many I had not and I was able to trim some fat off a budget that I thought was already lean.
Part of the general understanding in this group is to spend less than you make. You aren’t doing that. Think about if you had cashed your check each week with no ability to obtain credit/loans. Once that money is gone…..it’s gone. End of story.
If you are serious about getting out of debt then you have to make some serious sacrifices and some really tough choices. In the end, it will be worth it.
Also, watch what Dave Ramsey answering your question: